The Reality of Breastfeeding

The First Week Is Brutal

They tell you it might be uncomfortable. They do not tell you it might be the most painful thing you've experienced outside of childbirth itself.

What actually happened:

• Nipples cracked and bled within 48 hours
• Every latch felt like broken glass
• I cried every time I had to feed her
• I dreaded the next feeding starting during the current feeding

The lactation consultant said "it shouldn't hurt if the latch is right." My latch was right. It still hurt. For two weeks straight.

Things That Actually Helped

Not sponsored. Just what worked:

• Nipple shields: I know they're controversial. I don't care. They saved my breastfeeding journey. Used them for 3 weeks.
• Silverettes: Silver nursing cups. Wore them between feedings. Expensive but worth it.
• All-purpose nipple ointment: Prescription from my OB. Combination of antibiotic, antifungal, and steroid. Game changer.
• Hydrogel pads: Keep them in the fridge. Heaven between feedings.
• Earth Mama Nipple Butter: Better than lanolin for me.

Supply Issues Are Real

The "breast is best" crowd makes it sound like every woman can produce enough milk. That's not true.

I had oversupply. You'd think that would be great. It wasn't. I had:

• Constant engorgement
• Multiple bouts of mastitis
• Painful letdown
• Baby choking and sputtering during feeds
• A freezer full of milk I eventually had to donate because she refused frozen milk

My friend had undersupply. She did everything right - pumped after every feed, power pumped, drank the tea, took the supplements, saw multiple lactation consultants. Her body just didn't produce enough. She combo fed for 6 months and it was the right choice for her family.

Supply issues go both ways and both are hard.

Mastitis Is No Joke

I had it three times. Each time felt like the flu combined with someone stabbing my breast.

Symptoms I experienced:

• Fever over 101°F
• Red, hot, swollen area on breast
• Extreme pain when nursing (worse than the initial cracked nipple pain)
• Body aches
• Complete exhaustion

What I learned: Call your doctor immediately at the first sign. I tried to "push through" the first time. Don't do that. You need antibiotics. The sooner you start them, the faster you recover.

The Time Commitment Nobody Mentions

In the early months, I was nursing or pumping about 8-10 times per day. Each session was 20-30 minutes.

That's 3-5 hours per day. Every single day. For months.

Factor in cleaning pump parts, storing milk, tracking feeds - easily another hour.

That's 4-6 hours per day dedicated to feeding. No one tells you that.

Pumping Reality

Pumping is not easier than nursing. It's different. Often harder.

What I hated about pumping:

• Feeling like a dairy cow hooked to a machine
• The sound of the pump (still haunts me)
• Washing parts 4-5 times per day
• Pumping output that never matched what baby got from nursing
• Pumping at work (see Pumping at Work Guide)

What made it bearable:

• Spectra S1 pump (rechargeable, portable)
• Pumping bra so my hands were free
• Multiple sets of flanges and parts (less washing)
• Accepting that I'd pump less than she'd eat when nursing

The Mental Load

Breastfeeding meant I was the only one who could feed her. For months.

My husband couldn't help with night feeds. I couldn't leave her for more than 2-3 hours. I was always calculating when I'd need to pump next, whether I'd have enough stored milk, if my supply was dropping.

It was exhausting in a way that had nothing to do with physical exhaustion.

When I Almost Quit

Multiple times. The closest was around 6 weeks. I was exhausted, touched out, dealing with mastitis, and she was going through a growth spurt wanting to nurse constantly.

Why I didn't quit: Stubbornness, mostly. And the fact that it had gotten slightly easier. And formula was expensive. And I'd already invested so much pain and effort that quitting felt like wasting it.

Those are terrible reasons. If you want to quit, quit. You don't need a "good enough" reason.

Things I'm Glad I Did

• Saw a lactation consultant: In the hospital and again at 2 weeks. Worth every penny.
• Used the nipple shield: Despite everyone telling me not to.
• Set a goal and reassessed regularly: I aimed for 3 months. Then 6. Then 12. Incremental goals felt manageable.
• Introduced bottles early: At 3 weeks. She took them fine and I had flexibility.
• Let myself have feelings: It's okay to not love breastfeeding. It doesn't make you a bad mom.

Things I Wish I'd Done Differently

• Been less rigid about "breast is best": Formula is also fine. I could have combo fed and been happier.
• Stopped pumping at work sooner: I pumped until 11 months. I could have stopped at 6 and it would have been fine.
• Not felt guilty about supplementing: We used formula occasionally. It was fine. She's fine.

When To Get Help

See a lactation consultant if:

• It hurts beyond the first 2-3 weeks
• Baby isn't gaining weight appropriately
• You have clogged ducts that won't clear
• You suspect tongue tie or lip tie
• You're experiencing nipple damage that isn't healing
• Your mental health is suffering

Call your doctor immediately if:

• Fever over 100.4°F
• Red streaks on breast
• Flu-like symptoms
• Extreme pain