Start Sleep Habits Early | Reid's Baby Breakdown

The Moment

Week 2 postpartum. I'm reading "Bringing Up Bebe" at 3am while Forest sleeps on my chest. I come across the section about "the pause."

The premise: when baby makes noise at night, wait a few seconds before responding. Give them a chance to settle on their own. Don't assume every sound means they need you immediately.

My first thought: "There's no way I can do that. What if he's hungry? What if he's scared?"

My second thought: "But what if it works?"

That night, I tried it. Forest fussed at 2am. I waited 30 seconds. He stopped fussing and went back to sleep.

I was stunned.

The Conflict

The parenting discourse around sleep is polarized. On one side: "Cry it out is traumatic and damages attachment." On the other: "Sleep training is necessary or you'll never sleep again."

The pause method lives in the middle. It's not cry-it-out. It's not even sleep training, really. It's just... waiting a moment before reacting.

But it goes against every maternal instinct. Your baby makes a sound. Your brain screams: "GO TO THEM NOW." Overriding that feels impossible - and a little cruel.

Here's what changed my mind: babies make noise in their sleep. A lot of noise. Grunting, squeaking, fussing. It doesn't always mean they're awake or need you. Sometimes they're just transitioning between sleep cycles.

If you respond to every sound, you wake them up. They learn they can't settle on their own. You become the only way they can fall back asleep.

What the research shows

Multiple studies show that gentle sleep methods (like the pause) don't harm attachment or development. Babies who learn to self-soothe sleep better. Parents who sleep better are healthier, less depressed, and more responsive. Sleep matters for everyone.

The Learning

We started the pause at week 2. By week 8, Forest was sleeping 6-7 hour stretches. By 12 weeks, he was sleeping through the night (10pm-6am).

Here's how we actually did it:

The Pause (Week 2+)

When Forest made noise at night, we waited. Not long - just 30-60 seconds. Enough to see if he'd settle on his own.

If he escalated to real crying, we went to him immediately. But often, he'd fuss for a few seconds and go back to sleep. We weren't letting him cry. We were just not jumping in at the first squeak.

Bedtime Routine (Week 4+)

Same routine every night. Bath, pajamas, bottle, book, bed. Started at 8:30pm, lights out by 9pm. Babies thrive on predictability. The routine signals "it's time to sleep."

Put Down Awake (Week 6+)

This was the hardest part. Instead of nursing or rocking to sleep, we put Forest in the crib drowsy but awake. He'd fuss for a few minutes, then fall asleep on his own.

It felt wrong at first. But it taught him that the crib is where he sleeps, not my arms. And it meant he could fall back asleep independently in the middle of the night.

Wake Windows (Week 8+)

We started paying attention to how long he'd been awake. Newborns can only handle 45-60 minutes of wake time before they're overtired. As he got older, wake windows stretched to 90 minutes, then 2 hours.

Overtired babies don't sleep better. They sleep worse. Timing naps based on wake windows (not clock time) was huge.

What worked for us

The pause from week 2. Consistent bedtime routine from week 4. Putting him down awake from week 6. Tracking wake windows instead of forcing a schedule. White noise machine. Blackout curtains (IKEA, not Amazon). Sleep sack instead of loose blankets.

The Updated Rule

Start sleep habits early. Not sleep training at 2 weeks - that's not what I'm saying. But building a foundation: the pause, a routine, independent sleep skills.

What to do from the start:

Week 2+: Practice the pause - wait before responding to every sound
Week 4+: Establish a bedtime routine - same steps, same order, every night
Week 6+: Put baby down drowsy but awake - at least for some naps
Week 8+: Track wake windows - avoid overtiredness
Month 4+: Consider gentle sleep training if baby still isn't sleeping long stretches

You don't have to do all of this. You don't have to do any of this. But if sleep is important to you (and it was to us), starting early makes a difference.

What I'd tell past me

Trust the pause. I know it feels impossible. I know it goes against every instinct. But babies are more capable of self-soothing than we give them credit for. You're not abandoning them - you're giving them space to learn a skill. And that skill (independent sleep) is a gift for everyone.

For Baby #2

We did the same thing with Cove. The pause from week 2. Routine from week 4. Drowsy but awake from week 6. She slept through the night by 10 weeks. Not luck - habits.

Not medical advice

Every baby is different. Some sleep well early, some don't. If your baby has medical issues affecting sleep, talk to your pediatrician. This is what worked for us, not a prescription for everyone.